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Top Ten Common-Sense Rules for Fathers
Rule #1 Expect A Great Deal From Your Kids
 If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they’ll
rise to the occasion. Everything from saying please and
thank-you, to efforts in school or on the athletic field, if
expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere your kids
will know that you think a lot of them. When they know this,
they’ll respond.
Rule #2 Always Be Willing To Be the Problem
When you’re convinced that someone in your family is causing
“the problem” and you’re blaming them for it, realize that
this problem won’t get better until you accept that you’re
making it worse by blaming them. It may briefly feel good to
blame, but it never improves anything. Loving and accepting
that person will make a positive difference.
Rule #3 Know Your Child’s Life Intimately
Get to know all that you can about your kids. Know what their
favorite toys and colors are, who their best friends are, who
their heroes are, etc. By showing interest, you’re showing
you love them. By not asking, you show that they’re not that
important to you.
Rule #4 Say No To Your Kids
There’s an awful lot of stuff out there for kids these
days...and of course they want to have it all. Kids who get
almost everything they want typically don’t turn out to be
very happy kids. Kids learn discipline, self-control, and how
to delay gratification when they are told “no” by their
parents. It may be a difficult struggle, but saying “no” and
meaning it will help you to have happy, healthy, and
cooperative kids.
Rule #5 Hitting or Spanking Your Kids Doesn’t Work
There are plenty of studies showing that kids who are spanked
have lower self-esteem. Spanking your kids will also be
likely to increase the very kinds of behaviors that you are
spanking them for. As a father, do you really want your child
to be afraid of you?
Rule #6 Treat Your Wife Extremely Well
This is where your kids get their most important information
about relationships between men and women. Make a great
effort not to fight in front of the kids. Remember to be kind
more often than trying to be right.
Law #7 Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Many parents spend time threatening their children when their
kids aren’t cooperating. But if you don’t follow through on
the consequences, you can threaten till the cows come home.
Your children will learn to ignore the threats. They’ll
understand action. If certain privileges are taken away
because of their lack of cooperation, they’ll learn very
quickly that you mean business.
Try your best to align the consequences with the action. ( If
you don’t clean your room in time, you won’t have time for
stories before bed.)
Rule #8 “Really” Listen to Your Kids
Don’t just hear their words, but learn to understand the
meaning behind what they say as well. “I’m picking my own
clothes!” might mean that your child wants more
responsibility or independence. Be able to reflect back what
your child says to you. If you want your child to listen to
you, you absolutely must listen to her/him.
Rule #9 Give Your Kids Responsibility as They Grow Older
When your kids are very young, maybe they just help make
their beds in the morning and keep their rooms clean. As they
get older, add things to their list. Tell them that this is
how a family works…everybody has certain things that they do.
If you do it when they’re young it’s more likely they’ll do
it when they’re older. Don’t reward them for things that
should be expected of them.
Rule #10 Tell Your Kids They’re Great…All the Time
It is especially important to tell them this when they’re not
at their best. It’s easy to tell them when things are going
well. Make it a point to tell them specifically what you
think is great about them. This will be more meaningful than
generalized praise.
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