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Kissing Connectivity
A kiss can mean so much, or nothing at all. Remember
when you were five years old and you thought kissing was
yucky? It wasn't until adolescence that the meaning of a
kiss was slowly revealed to us. Between giggles we
confessed our first kisses, our secret initiation into
the "adult" world. No one talks about kisses anymore.
Oh, we read about them in romance novels or see them on
the big screen, but no one discusses them in hushed
whispers between blushes and giggles. We are adults.
Kissing is commonplace for us now. Most of us kiss our
partners without thinking at least once a day. But
shouldn't a kiss always be special?
What is a kiss?
A kiss is more than the sharing of lips and breath. It
is a mingling of hearts and souls. A slight tingle, a
funny feeling in the tummy, a racing heart, is to be
expected. A kiss is an intimate connection to another
human being and a simple way to express love and
affection.
The first kiss
The anticipated first kiss is one that we both long for
and dream about. And, whether remembered as sweet and
tender, shy and hesitant, or as bumped heads and noses,
we don't forget it. A kiss is a thing of wonder. We
wonder if and when the object of our affections will
bestow us with a kiss. We wonder if our knees will get
weak, our pulse will race, or if it will be a dud. So
much depends on a kiss.
Does he like you? You went to see a movie with subtitles
and he seemed to like it. Does he really like foreign
movies or is he only trying to please you? Will he call
you again? You go out on your second date. And then,
somehow, you kiss. Your heart soars. He likes you! Could
this be love?
Women do read more into kissing than men. Some say that
it can make them feel attractive, cared for, and even
boost their self-esteem. Women unconsciously use kissing
as a barometer for how much they're respected, valued,
and loved.
The passionate kiss
You can't wait to feel and touch each other. Your mouths
and hands are busy, your hearts are pounding, and you
can literally see sparks fly. Passion is a wonderful
thing. It makes us feel more alive, more connected to
our partner. But, realistically, one cannot expect
passion in every kiss. Kisses can range from slow, sweet
ones to urgent, fiery ones. Moreover, it us unrealistic
to expect passion every single day of our lives.
How many times in books, the movies, and in real life
has it been proven that a relationship built on passion
alone cannot survive?
Without a deep, emotional connection between two people,
a lasting love cannot thrive. And by lasting love, I
mean one that can withstand the ups and downs of every
day life. Factors like compatibility, similar values and
goals, mutual respect, trust, and friendship should be
weighed alongside physical attraction. A passion that
feeds on itself will eventually burn out.
Are you and your partner in a romantic rut? Have your
kisses with your partner lost their zing lately? Don't
throw in the towel just yet. As your relationship
continues to grow, continue to grow the passion. If you
and your partner concentrate on feeling an emotional
connection with each other, you will make a passionate
connection as well. For couples who have been together
for some time, kissing isn't as exciting as it was when
you first started dating, But you need to continue to
make kissing a priority. Passionate kissing is great but
one of the goals of kissing is to stay connected.
The perfunctory kiss
"Bye, Honey. Have a nice day," we say with a quick peck
on the lips as we leave in the morning to start our
workday. It's part of the routine. Just one more thing
to do on our way out of the door. Often, once the days
of courtship are over, couples tend to fall into a
routine, which is anything but romantic.
A kiss can communicate so much. Love, tenderness,
passion, and devotion, to name just a few. It can also
serves as a barometer of a relationship. Kissing is a
part of the daily interaction a couple shares. It can
send spontaneous and frequent signs of affection and
love.
In the early stages, we kiss our partners a lot because
we need the reassurance that a kiss can bring. Once we
are settled into a relationship, we need less
reassurance because we feel more secure in our partner's
love. But, as time goes on, there is the danger that a
couple will stop expressing their love with kisses. The
kisses start to taper off. You only kiss hello or good
bye or while making love. The love that is between you,
while cherished, is not something that you think about
anymore. It is just there. Sometimes spoken, sometimes
not.
No one likes to be taken for granted, especially not
your partner, and your love shouldn't be either. A kiss
is such a simple way to keep the love you and your
partner share alive. Both you and your partner owe it to
each other to work at keeping the love and passion
alive. Yes, love requires work too. Anything worth doing
or worth having does.
While it's great when you and your partner are on the
same passion scale, there will be times when one partner
will go through a quieter time sexually. Don't take it
personally or withdraw. Stay connected by talking and
touching and giving them space.
The progression from special first kisses to the
perfunctory married kind. Kissing is commonplace for
many of us now, kissing our partners without thinking at
least once a day. But shouldn't a kiss always be
special?
Kiss to love, love to kiss
Many of the small things that we do make a huge
difference on the overall health of our relations. Even
the peck-on-the-cheek, done the right way, could signal
a lot of love and affection to your partner. Read on to
find out more about such intimate signals.
Remember how special you and your partner are together.
1. Be creative. Kiss your partner's forehead, eyelids,
cheeks, nose and chin, before kissing your partner on
the mouth.
2. If you don't like your partner's kissing style, tell
them gently how you would like to be kissed. Better yet,
show them.
3. Gently caress your partner's hands, neck, or back as
you kiss. Make it more than a mere meeting of the lips.
4. If you don't have time for a "real kiss", make a
verbal promise of "Later." You and your partner will
have something to look forward to and you will have put
the magic of anticipation back into your relationship.
Other daily steps to intimacy:
1. Really listen to each other.
2. Be there for each other.
3. Touch each other.
4. Go out on a "date" at least once a month. Maybe even
re-create your first date.
5. Have a candlelight dinner.
6. Plan a special day together for just the two of you.
More passion tips
1. Have a "How's your love life?" conversation. Ask your
partner to rate their level of passion and intimacy on a
scale of 1 to 10. The very act of having the
conversation increases the level of satisfaction for
both of you.
2. Write a love letter to your mate. Make it a little
unpredictable. Throw your partner off guard by saying
things you don't normally say.
3. Agree to take turns initiating affection so it
doesn't always fall to the same partner.
4. Every once in a while, schedule passion on your
calendar in advance. Focus on your "appointment" in the
hours preceding so your passion and excitement has time
to really build.
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